Can Purell be used as lube?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
