Ambien. No doubt about it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How naked do you want me to be?
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