You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
