I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
