Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
