Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
