I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
