The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
