Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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