Whod you bang
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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