I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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