I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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