I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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