Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
