you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize