You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
