all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
