when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
