This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
