yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
