"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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