do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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