what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
