Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
