Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
