I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
