i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
