She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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