I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
