my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
