the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
