He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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