...so i touched it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
