My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
