I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize