i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
