Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
