he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
