hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
