Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
