Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
