why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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