i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I supernannyed him into submission
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
