went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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