I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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