I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
