it wasn't lemon gatorade
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
