OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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