whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
