Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
