i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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