Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
