he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
