Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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