I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
