we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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