Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
